An Update

I feel emotionally conflicted.

That’s the story of my life right now. Things never seem to go exactly as we think. And that’s okay, but it’s hard. It’s okay that it’s hard.

This whole month has been a roller coaster ride of changing plans and expectations, learning to surrender control over and over. Apparently I still need a lot more practice in that area!

There have been a few changes with my original move to Guatemala. Now, my time there will be more of an internship style program, with greater flexibility and ability to be tailored to fit me personally, still with a focus in discipleship, mentorship, leadership, and preparation for where God is leading me next. I don’t know all the details, but I know this is the next step God wants me to take, so I’m just moving forward to do the next right thing. I don’t have to know my five-year plan (or even a one-year plan) because my God already knows it. He has it all under control, so I don’t have to. Thank God for that.

As tends to happen, life loves to throw monkey wrenches in the way. This month, I’ve had to get a lot of dental work done. Long story short, it turned out to be a lot more painful, extensive, and time-consuming than expected, but praise God that I’ve been able to get it worked out while I’m still here in the US. Additionally, my mom’s dad passed away last week, which has added another level of confusion and complication. However, I was able to join my family in traveling for the funeral, which I’m thankful for.

Now, I’m just getting home from that trip, only 7 days before I was originally planning to leave, with a lot more things to get done before heading out. Deep breaths, deep breaths. A friend spoke a word over me, reminding me that I’ll leave in God’s perfect timing. That’s true, and it’s something that I want to hold onto as I jump into preparations. I don’t have an exact date yet, but I’m trusting that He will make it clear to me, and it will be exactly at the right time.

As I’ve mentioned, I don’t have all the answers. What I’m doing doesn’t make sense from a logical, human perspective. All I know is that it’s what God is leading me to next, and all I can do is obey. What worth does my life have except to be used in His service? 

If that’s something that stirs your heart, I would be very grateful for all support, both prayer and financial! Direct donations to me personally are a preferred method: via Venmo at shananz, bank transfer through Zelle, check via mail, or any other method most convenient for you. Donations can also be made through the donation link on my blog website, and contributions there will be tax-deductible. I truly could not be where I am now without your prayers and financial support! I am immeasurably grateful for your investment into me and what God is doing in me. You show me the hand of God in such a tangible way.

I look forward to keeping you all updated as I move forward with this crazy journey called life! My next blog might be from Guatemala (who knows!), so stay tuned! I would also appreciate prayers for peace and the divine orchestration of God’s plan for my life during this time. Love you all!