Finding God in My In-Between Season

On a short trip to northern Georgia for fall colors!

I think in-between seasons are some of the hardest seasons out there. They’re hard because they’re not obviously a good season or a bad season. Their trademark characteristic is how they often have a defined start date and end date.

Now, what’s so bad about that? Well, it can be tempting to feel like in-between seasons are just roads on the way to the real destination. However, I don’t believe God ever gives us time to just throw away and waste. There is always a purpose in it. The truth is that every season has a beginning and an end; the trouble with in-between seasons is that you already know the end, and often, you know exactly when it’s coming. It’s human nature to brace oneself in advance.

The human heart is a strange and fragile thing. So desperate for connection, so scared of pain. I think the in-between season is a true refining fire to pass through, in that respect. Hear me out.

Intellectually, I feel that most people would agree with Tennyson’s famous line, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” But when it comes to the real life choice of pouring one’s heart out into people and places and experiences, knowing the goodbye is near, things become much harder and more complicated than Tennyson makes it out to be. The biggest challenge with in-between seasons is the choice we all have: to pour one’s love out with abandon or to close oneself to caring, in order to protect from the future pain of separation.

And then, there is this incredible tension – a precarious balancing act – between full investment into one’s current season and full anticipation and preparation for one’s upcoming season.

This tension has been the focal point in my own, current, in-between season. I thank God that He’s given me the gift of being able to fully invest in where I’m at now. Honestly, it’s a beautiful redemption story when I think of in my past how hesitant I was to care about things for fear of loss.

Right now I’m still trying to find that balance between investment in my current space and anticipation and preparation for my next season in Guatemala.

One thing I am immensely grateful for is all the ways that the Lord is using my current time to prepare me for everything that lies ahead. As hard as it is to know that this season is temporary, I’ve been seeking hard after the Lord’s face every day and seeing Him move in incredible ways. He’s blessed me with a great group of people who challenge me in my faith and cultivate a place for us all to better step into boldness. Through this group, I’ve been leaning into discovering more of the heart of worship.

I’ve also been very blessed with a full-time job at Chick-fil-A. If you talked to me at all during my job search, you’ll know that finding the right opportunity was a major source of stress. Of course, God came through. My Chick-fil-A restaurant has incredible leadership development and is full of a lot of great people – I know my experiences there are already equipping me for my future. 

All in all, it’s been a roller coaster of a season so far. But I’m choosing to be grateful for a God who loves me enough to give me an in-between season. I know it’s not for nothing. He’s already brought so much fruit out of it, and I can’t wait to see what else He’s going to do.

The goodbyes won’t be easy. There will be tears, and I’ll need time to grieve. But truly all I want is to be able to look back and say, “I gave it my all.” God took it from there. And I have a Comforter as my beloved, who has comforted me many times before, and I know He’ll do it again.

I want to challenge you to view your own in-between seasons with a different perspective. What does God want to do in you and around you and through you during that time? Believe me, God has given you that time for a reason. And sometimes it’s just as much about the journey as the destination. Ask God to open your heart to let others in, even when you know the goodbye is rapidly approaching. Allow the timeline of your season to spur you on instead of scaring you off.

Ultimately, what I want to say is this: don’t waste your in-between season!

And if you have wasted an in-between season before (haven’t we all?), just turn to the Lord with a posture of repentance. Because hallelujah, He is a God of redemption and reconciliation and He makes all things new! And He doesn’t want you to live a life full of regret.

Thank you for reading! I’m hoping to get into the habit of posting more regularly, but it can be hard to find time with work! Please keep me in your prayers – prayers specifically toward fundraising and my upcoming season of Hineni in Guatemala (see my last post!) would be super appreciated! And if you feel led to support me financially, you can donate through my blog link or through Venmo at @shananz. If you know anyone who might like to support me, please reach out! God bless!

God’s creation is beautiful!