What’s Next!

Hello everyone! This blog has been a long time coming, but somehow an “official announcement” seems so official. If you’ve been around me in person anytime over the last several months, you’ll already know what I’m about to share:

I have applied and been accepted to a long-term missions training program called Hineni, in Guatemala! 

Crazy, right? Before I get into details, I want to share some of my heart behind this. 

Coming onto the Word Race, I obviously had a desire to do missions, but it was more from the perspective of knowing it was a good thing and wanting to try it. I’d never done a mission trip before. Throughout the course of my program, God started to expand my idea of missions: from it being just a little piece of my life, to maybe something I would do every week, and then finally, to realizing that I should be living my whole life on a mission.

If you’d like to read my blog post where I talk about when God asked me to surrender my dreams and ideas for the future (it’s inside of this February recap!), I gave more insight over there into how that event was the catalyst for my long-term missions realization.

With that being said, immediately after I released my choke hold on the future, I remember telling a few people that I hoped God wasn’t calling me to long-term missions, because I really didn’t want to do that. Haha. At the same time, I also prayed that God would change and mold my ideas for the future to be his ideas for the future. I didn’t want to make my own plans, only to surrender all over again.

The transformation happened almost imperceptibly in my mind, but since then, God has continued to change my desires, such that I truly can’t see myself following God’s will in my life without doing long-term missions overseas. He has grown that desire in me, because it most certainly was not my own carnal desire!

My attention was first drawn to the Hineni program when we stayed at the Adventures in Missions base in Guatemala at the beginning of 2021. The first year participants (of the first year of the program) were there at the same time as us, and I was intrigued by the concept of the program. I even briefly thought that it would be a cool thing to do if I lived a different life (because it certainly did not fit into my plans of the life I was living then!).

After my surrender with God, my mind was led back to the Hineni program again, because suddenly, it was not ruled out. God said I could pursue it, as long as I didn’t become attached to the plan instead of being attached to Him. And God revealed to me that actually, the program offered so many things that I would love, and offered the opportunity of fulfillment for many inner desires of my heart.

Even though I fully know that it will be incredibly challenging as well, I’ve felt confirmation from the Lord that this is my next step, and every hesitation and doubt and good thing I’ve had to release my hold on since then has only reaffirmed that.

So, that’s where I’m at. I hesitated for so long to make this announcement officially official, because I had a lingering doubt that this was actually what God had in mind for me. Especially being back in the states, it’s hard to think about leaving again. But God challenged me with that thought, because it was coming out of a place of fear of being wrong or having changed plans.

But my God is big enough to follow every step of the way, even if His steps were to change directions. He is worth moving away from my family and comfort and familiarity, He is worth saying goodbye to my human perception of financial security, He is worth every sacrifice I’ve made so far and every sacrifice I will continue to make (even though sometimes I make those sacrifices kicking and screaming a little bit).

It is oh so hard to say goodbye to all my old human (honestly, American dream) hopes for the future, and realize there is a very real possibility I’ll never have any of those things. And even if I do someday, my God is so much more than having a nice car or lots of money to do whatever I want.

And yes, my calling may not be your calling. America needs missionaries just as much as other countries. But I would still challenge you to release your hold on your life. When you cast your control at His feet, He might not change your life plans, but you’ll have given Him the freedom to: and that’s what He truly desires. We can’t stay unchanged in His presence. 

Romans 12:1 says, “And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice – the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the only way to worship him.”

Are you scared to ask God how He might really want to use your life? You’re not alone if you are. A question I like to ask myself frequently is, “What are you so afraid of?” Worst case scenario, God asks us to do hard things. But in the scheme of eternity, isn’t He worth those hard things? This is something I’m walking through with the Lord right now.

Psalm 63:3 says, “Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you!”

That’s a little bit of perspective.

And He is a faithful God, faithful to change our desires for His glory when we submit ourselves to Him. He’s not going to leave you doing those hard things all on your own. He is ever faithful to continue by your side, forever. Isn’t that a beautiful, incredible, thing?! He will never leave you nor forsake you (John 14:16, Joshua 1:9, Isaiah 41:10, and there are many more verses to this effect).

To close with the so-called elephant in the room, I would prayerfully ask you to consider supporting me on this journey of faith with the Lord. Prayer is so powerful – I would ask for prayer over this whole journey, first and foremost.

One thing I was afraid of surrendering was my desire for financial security. But I’ve learned that I never want to let something as trivial (in the long run!) as money stop me from following the Lord’s plan for my life.

I would love to ask you to consider supporting me monthly! This Hineni program lasts 18 months – a year and a half, and I will need to raise about $11,500 for the whole duration. Hineni means “Here I am” in Hebrew! It’s a commitment to giving the Lord my “yes.” I will need to have about $3000 raised by the time I leave at the end of January 2022. It would be incredible to raise at least $500 in monthly support, and $1000 would be even more miraculous. Wherever God takes me after this program, I don’t expect it to be a tame life. If my journey resonates with you at all, or inspires you, or makes you think – I would be incredibly grateful for your partnership with Holy Spirit and me!

And truly, as little as $5 or $10 a month would make an impact. 

Donations can be made through the donate button on my blog website, through Venmo @shananz, CashApp at $shananzavocki, or through the mail via check (ask me about this option for details).

Please reach out to me personally if you would like to hear more about the program and my spiritual walk! I would love to chat, and I definitely have more information to share. You can reach me with the contact button on my blog or at my email: [email protected]

Thank you for reading! I pray that God fills you more and more with a hunger for His presence, so that you can truly sing the song Nothing Else by Cody Carnes,

Oh, I’m not here for blessings

Jesus, You don’t owe me anything

More than anything that you can do

I just want you

May the Lord bless you and keep you and shine his face upon you! Here’s to perfect love casting out all fear.